Of Napkins.
To answer my good friend Michelle's question about napkins in nice restaurants... here's the thing. A napkin has three functions, only two of which are particularly relevant to this discussion:
1. It makes the table look nice
2. You can place it on your lap to catch any food you inadvertently drop on your nice trousers.
3. You can wipe your mouth on it.
While I can live without 1., or rather enjoy it temporarily before deploying the napkin, items 2. and 3. seem mutually exclusive. Either you keep the napkin on the table, for ease of mouth-wiping, in which case, food can drop in your lap with no problem, OR you place it on your lap, which means, if you have to wipe your mouth, you bend over double and look like you're kissing your knee.
So, this is the start of the "Give me 2 napkins" campaign. Are you in?
To answer my good friend Michelle's question about napkins in nice restaurants... here's the thing. A napkin has three functions, only two of which are particularly relevant to this discussion:
1. It makes the table look nice
2. You can place it on your lap to catch any food you inadvertently drop on your nice trousers.
3. You can wipe your mouth on it.
While I can live without 1., or rather enjoy it temporarily before deploying the napkin, items 2. and 3. seem mutually exclusive. Either you keep the napkin on the table, for ease of mouth-wiping, in which case, food can drop in your lap with no problem, OR you place it on your lap, which means, if you have to wipe your mouth, you bend over double and look like you're kissing your knee.
So, this is the start of the "Give me 2 napkins" campaign. Are you in?
posted by Glyn Norman at 9:10 PM
4 Comments:
When I was eight, my mother sent me to Mrs. Sheffield's "Delightful Decorum and Manners For Delightful Young Ladies" class. I count that experience as one of the most formative.
I spoon my soup away from myself, work from the outside to the inside with silverware, and know what words actually comprise the R.S.V.P. acronym.
Further illumination on napkins follows:
What do I do with my napkin?
A: As soon as everyone is seated, unfold your napkin and place it across your lap, folded, with the fold toward you. Do this discreetly without flourish. If you need to leave the table, place your napkin on your chair, folded loosely (NEVER wadded). Only after the meal is over should you place your napkin on the table to the left side of your plate (NEVER on your plate!).
Q: How do you wipe your mouth with the napkin? Is it considered poor etiquette to wipe one's mouth with the napkin?
A: It is considered poor etiquette NOT to use your napkin. The purpose of the napkins is to keep food off your face. Use it frequently to discreetly dap or wipe (no ear to ear swiping, please) your mouth. Replace the napkin on your lap loosely folded, not wadded and not stuffed between your legs.
Wow. I now consider myself educated. But don't all of the gathered crumbs etc., now fall on you as you move the napkin from the horizontal knees position to the vertical dabbing mouth position?
Fancy Restaurant Story: My friend's husband was at some super swanky restaurant. He was youngish and still hadn't had too much experience with such things. As he was eating his bread, he was embarassed by all the crumbs. He kept sweeping them under his plate. He didn't realize they have those fancy crumb sweepers. As the waiter cleared his plate, he was mortified to see this perfect ring of bread crumbs exposed. Moral? They expect people to leave crumbs, etc., even at fancy restaurants. Crumb away, my friend, crumb away!
I shake the crumbs on the floor, wipe my mouth, fold the wiped part inside, and return the napkin to my lap.
But I wouldn't put too much faith in my advice - I once gestured with a chicken leg and sent it flying across the table at my sister. Now THAT'S bad manners.
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